Happiness is a Choice

We’ve reached that point wherein I had to tiptoe at an early hour of the day carrying my baby on my arm, while carrying a handful of other stuff on my other arm; tiptoeing off away from the house, away from my husband.
The taxi driver asked, “Why this early?”
My reply was a hallow laughter.
I just came home from work. I had not slept yet, I could not sleep. After hearing the bomb he droped yet again (I've heard so many already), I felt so helpless and hopeless. All my efforts have gone to Hades. Nothing I ever did mattered. It is frustrating but I had it coming. I fell for the man that could have been and not for the man that really is.
Well, I had to break free. A life is at stake. Not my own or his, but Nathaniel’s.
I love Nathaniel with every fiber of my being. From the moment I heard his first cry upon giving birth to him; I have sworn to protect him with all that I am. I am ready to protect him even from his own father.
I have to be strong. The last thing my mother told me, when we were able to communicate a month ago, was “Be strong.” I am trying to be strong. I really am. Well, I have not break down yet…but almost there. I’m not really sure how long I would still be able to keep it all intact.
All I think of right now is that I have Nathaniel and that’s enough.
Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy.