Sunday, June 10, 2012

Entry 5: Success--Stressed and Smiling!

So, the first two days of Destino was hectic! The "SOFT" opening turned out to be not so soft even if it was raining. We ran out of chairs and customers were standing. The second day, we again ran out of chairs! We definitely need to buy more tables and chairs. We had 10 small tables and 6 big tables to start with, plus 10 barstools. Seating capacity was already approximately 85 and we still ran out of chairs! NEED TO BUY TABLES AND CHAIRS! Hahaha! Makes me happy knowing a lot of people are trying the place. First day was overwhelming as there was not system and we just went with whatever. We were short-staffed as we weren't expecting that many people. Thankfully my cousin was there to save the day. She assisted me in all ways possible. So I gave her a Destino shirt. I owe her way more than that. Tomorrow is another day of sleeplessness but it's all worth it. Supports are pouring in (!), especially sponsorships for the Grand Opening come Friday. I could almost imagine Destino: Cebu, Destino: Davao, Destino: Leyte....Destino Resorts, Destino Hotels....Destino Corporation. REACH FOR THE STARS SO THAT, AT THE VERY LEAST, YOU'D REACH THE TREE TOPS! :)

Friday, June 8, 2012

Entry 4: Excited and Terrified

Thursday, a day before the opening. Stressed doesn't even describe it. I'm beyond stressed that I've come full circle to just chill. The meetings just went on and on forever. It was like a flood of work. But i had so much fun! At the start, there was a shortage of cash but as the day progressed so did the shower of money.
Tables and chairs, check! Waiters, check! Cooks, check! Bartender, check! More glasses, pitchers, bar utensils, check! Order 40 cases of drinks, check! Menu, check! Banner, check! And so much more, check! I have to sleep now as would need to wake up in 4 hours (5am) to go to the market for food purchasing. Then I need to be awake for 24 hours until 5am the next day! I would need an unlimited supply of coffee!

It's all so exciting...but the fear is all too real as well. But when you hear words like these:
"Of course!  I hope if I get back to the Philippines that I will be able to spend time with you as well!  You might be too busy though with a successful bar and school!  You will do wonderfully!  You are an incredibly amazing young woman!  Beautiful, brilliant and so multifaceted! Don't be worried you are a success!! So your bar will be as well! Not only are you the above mentioned but kind and generous as well. I feel very lucky to know you!"
It makes me believe I can do it. To simply know that someone believes in you, feels so good but for someone to believe in you so much makes you feel humbled. I almost choked when tears started creeping up my eyes. Somehow, through new friends, I could almost feel that my mother is still alive and is speaking through her.
For those kind, encouraging, and supportive words, for the confidence and belief, I thank her. Now, I am not so terrified anymore.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Entry 3: Cherry On Top

Wednesday was a really exhausting but fulfilling day.

Went to the lawyer, set an appointment for the next day. Stole a page of a newspaper from the law office--the lifestyle page, the one with the comics and the astronomy fortune telling. But, i didn't steal it for those things, I was done reading them there; stole it for the Sudoku puzzle! Solving Sudoku puzzles, such a stress reliever! It's the second time I stole that page there. I should just buy a Sudoku puzzle book! Then, met with the hired bar tender, did costing and purchasing. Met with business plan advisers and investors, planned for the soft opening of the bar on Friday. Got a call from an investor (a friend's brother) saying he had transferred the money to my account, sweet! Did delegation of work to everyone willing to help. Talked to suppliers, ordered some. Finalized the logo/design, posted on FB walls. Ordered t-shirts to be printed for Friday. Found solutions to problems of cash, freezer, suppliers, canopies, band, etc. Played host to supportive friends and waited until they finally decided it was time to go. The soft opening of Destino (Destination and Destiny) looms near. I am excited and terrified.

Finally ending the day, my cellphone rings...haven't I mentioned last entry that it was finally quiet? Well, it rang. The cherry on top. Today was a huge cake with lots of icing and finally that cherry! Yummy!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Entry 2: Alone But Not Lonely

My cellphone is finally quiet.

But it keeps on ringing with calls and messages from applicants, investors, and friends. Meetings after meetings, struggling to stay on top of things. Barely have time to breathe.

I look at where I am right now and where I am heading, and I smile.  I haven't planned on heading this way but here I am. My original plans are so far off from where I am now. But when you have no one else to rely on, and instead people rely on you, a life depends on you, there is no other choice but to be strong. No time for crying and bemoaning life; there's only time for a deep breath, rolling of the shoulders, standing up and saying: bringiton! Not just that, you even have to say it with a smile and a laugh: ooohhhhh yeaaaahhhh, bring-it-on!

I hold my head high, back straight, and laugh at life! No matter what, everything is going to be alright. No matter what happens, life will not get the best of me. Monday might have been a letting go but it was with the promise of a fulfilling friendship. Tuesday was a meeting with an old friend and talking with her for hours like we have never been apart. People enriching my life by being a part of it brings warmth to my heart.

I may be driving on my motorbike alone, I may be carrying the burden of my business alone, I may be taking care of my son alone, I may be alone facing life...but never lonely. There is so much to be thankful for, so much good news to focus on, so much love received and to give.

Putting my son to bed, wrapping him in my arms, kissing him on the forehead, a big happy smile on my face, I am contented...even if my cellphone is finally quiet.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Entry 1: Cocoon

There are people who come into our lives to share a smile with...but there are those who come into our lives to change it.

I was once again heading into a dangerous trajectory in my life. When life moves too fast and you let events drive you instead of driving your life, things could head for the worst. Fortunately, a stopper was sent my way to perhaps save my soul.

As it is 2:42am as I am writing this, I will have to say that I went to church yesterday (Sunday) for the first time in a very long time. On my own free will, by myself, I walked up to the daunting church, went in and sat at the very back, ready to bolt at the slightest sign of uneasiness. I sat there until the end of the service. I even dropped a prayer request: "Please pray for my heart and my soul." I hope they do their work and pray for me, although I did not include my name. Surely God will know who they will be praying for.

It was raining hard that afternoon, but as the rain stopped, I headed for the cemetery to visit my mother. It's a long drive from the city. By the time I got there, the clouds were ominous. The cemetery that she is buried in has always made me feel at peace. From there, I could see the mountains and the vast sky, but that time, the clouds were dark and heavy. I lighted a candle for her then it started to drizzle. I headed for a canopy were chairs were piled up to be put away. The rain began to come down hard so I decided to open the laptop I had been bringing along. It was only 6pm, but it was dark and the rain limited my visibility so I sat down on one of the chairs, placed my laptop on my lap and started playing songs.

By myself at a faraway cemetery, rain enveloping the canopy, music playing, I waited for the rain to stop. It was a first. It was soothing. It was a moment in time I would remember for the rest of my life. I knew it was officially the start of my cocooning period. I will wait until my wings are ready before I fly again.

As the rain was dying down, an hour later, I headed back to the city. Not wanting to go home to my empty room, I began driving aimlessly again. I found myself heading to the coconut grove. I only noticed I was there as I passed by it. I smiled and drove around some more until there was no choice but to go home. The first day of cocooning was not that bad...but it will get darker and lonelier before it gets better...but then again, I am willing to wait.

I thank the angel sent my way who led me back to the light.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

More Pork Everyone!

"Too much pork is not good for one's health, but lawmakers don't seem to mind," was Gil Cabacungan Jr.'s opening statement on his article on the Philippine Daily Inquirer entitled Solons vote to award selves with more pork.

Out of 199 House members present at Tuesday's plenary session, only 4 voted to turn down what Bayan Muna Rep. Teddy Casino calls as an additional pork barrel for lawmakers. Only four (4!!!) lawmakers knew that too much pork is bad for the health.

The additional amount would be taken from the multibillion-peso road user's tax, which would give them control of between P20 million and P30 million in funds for their pet public work projects. Moreover, these representatives get P70 million each year in priority development assistance fund (PDAF) allocation.

The House Bill No. 4069 authored by Quezon Rep. Danilo Suarez transfers the disbursement of funds collected from the Motor Vehicle User's Charge (MVUC) Law (otherwise known as the road user's tax) from the Road Board composed of Presidential appointees to the legislators.

Cabacungan Jr. writes, "Suarez said this should not be considered pork barrel as the money would not come from congressional funds. He said the money would stay with the Department of Public Works and Highways and the lawmakers would just designate which projects should receive funding from their respective allocations."

According to Suarez this should address complaints that not all congressional districts were getting their fair share of the road user's tax.

But here is what Casino said in regards to his vote: "We all know that this road user's tax is fraught with anomalies. A lot of exposes and Senate investigations have proven this. We really need to reform the allocation of this fund which involves billions of pesos. But this conversion of the MVUC funds into something like the PDAF, or pork barrel, is not the solution to the problem."

He further explained that it is like transferring water from a pail with a big hole to another pail but with smaller holes of which the effect is that the leakages and opportunities for anomalies will not be plugged.

I guess this is another great milestone for the legislators in their vows to serve the Filipino people. All legislators get more pork, our only hope is that it trickles down to the people because, let me reiterate what Cabacungan Jr. said, "Too much pork is not good for one's health."

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I want to be in love.

I feel so lonely and empty and sad…so I watch love stories, even those with sad endings. And in those two hours when I’m watching those movies, I am transported into a place where I could almost taste what it feels like to be in love.

I just want to love and to be loved back in return. I want a partner whom I could give my whole heart entirely. I want to love with a love that is like fire—I want the kind of love that hits like lightning. I want to make love with a fierce passion that numbs my mind. I want to cuddle at night and share stories and laughter. I want a kind of love that makes me feel at home and peaceful and contented while at the same time happy and joyful and thankful and full of life and adventure.

I want a love that is strong and wild but slow and easy—a love that is heart and soul, completely! I want to share passion and tenderness. I want a love that is full of trust and honesty, full of understanding and caring.

I just want love, love, love, love!!! I want to love so much!!! I want to show tenderness, I want to care, I want to trust, I want to pamper, I want to cuddle, I want to make love; I just want to love with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul, and with all my strength!!!

I want to kiss with wild passion, with sweet tenderness, with love. I want to look at that person in the eye and see my soul in his eyes while his soul reflects in mine. I want to share my life, my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my hopes, my emotions, and my passions.

I want to dance in the rain, I want to play in the field, I want to jump off a cliff, I want to climb a mountain, I want to dive in a waterfall, I want to ride a horse, I want to run barefoot in the sand, I want to count the stars, I want to dine on a hilltop, I want to go on a joyride, I want to fish in the sea, I want to sleep on the grasses beneath the stars, I want to go to art galleries, I want to watch plays and concerts and poetry readings—I just want to live and do all these things with someone I love.

I want to grow old with a person I am in love with—I want to be sitting beside him on a rocking chair in the front porch as we hold hands, listen to soft music, and talk about all our adventures, laugh, and just watch people pass by as they go off to their own adventures.

I have so much romantic love to give but no one to give it to. There seems to be no one worth giving it to because I can only give it to a person I can trust—entirely and completely, in big things as well as in small things.

They say falling in love is like giving your heart to another person and letting him point a gun at it and hoping that he would never pull the trigger. I only have one heart; I could not give it to a person who will only pull the trigger.

I want to trust. I want to love. I want to love, love, love, love, love. I want to be in love…so I watch love stories and in that two hours while I’m watching the movie, I almost feel like I’m really in love. I guess I would just have to be contented with falling in love with the guys in the movies because maybe those kinds of guys and that kind of love could only be found in movies, never in real life.

But if someone would just let me, I could give that someone a kind of love that is like that of the movies.

I want to be in love.

But maybe I would never know how it is to be in love.

I am just a romantic fool—so I’ll just have to watch love stories until I grow old.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Never Too Late

It is never too late to be what you might have been!